![]() I don't think of myself as a television personality," he said. "When I went on television, it was as a writer. ![]() In early October, the real Rooney offered his valedictory essay: "Where's the long curly cord? Maybe it comes in a separate package - maybe 40 years ago - when I was 75." "You're probably wondering the same thing I am," he said, doing an impression of Rooney figuring out the iPhone. "He just reminds me of what a great country we live in where a person can watch somebody slowly go insane on television," comedian Frank Caliendo said during a standup routine on his TBS show. But even his less controversial remarks inspired material for countless comedians. Well, we buy cheese already grated now."Īt times, he offended viewers, and he was briefly suspended for remarks about gays and blacks. This seemed like a good idea at the time," he said, holding up one such gadget. ![]() "Over the years, I've filled our kitchen drawers with gadgets we never use. Once, he discussed being a sucker for kitchen tools. Rooney told his friend and 60 Minutes colleague Morley Safer that he had initially been a reluctant warrior. He left Colgate University during World War II to become a reporter for the Army publication Stars and Stripes. It was also a new and defining chapter in Rooney's career.Īndy Rooney was born in Albany, N.Y., in 1919. The segment soon became a distinctive and weekly bookend to the show's exposes and profiles. It turns out that the Fourth of July is really a very safe weekend for us," said Rooney, ever the contrarian. the total picture of our demise in America. "We were curious about the car death figures and. It was initially called "Three Minutes or So With Andy Rooney." On it, he quipped about everyday subjects, like warnings over the perils of driving during the Independence Day holiday: His now famous gig with CBS's 60 Minutes started on July 2, 1978. And not just on TV: He typically refused to sign autographs or return letters from fans. The correct author is a gentleman named Frank Kaiser, as verified by was one of the most famous curmudgeons in American public life. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!ĮDITOR'S NOTE: Thanks to our diligent Truth In Aging community, we have been informed that this essay was incorrectly attributed to Andy Rooney. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress.įor all those men who say, 'Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?', here's an update for you. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. ![]() Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting. If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. Here are just a few reasons why:Ī woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, 'What are you thinking?' She doesn't care what you think. "As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. CBS commentator, Andy Rooney on women over 40:
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